Why do we care so much?

"Why do we care so much? On what other people think about us, what we write, what we do? Why is it in human nature that we long for attention from the people around us?"

Hmmm.. Oh yea, before I continue any further, I won't be writing much about my thoughts unless something really really strikes my brain. Reason behind this is because I am doing my Final year for Diploma and its getting really busy but don't worry, I will be writing in my thoughts from time to time.

So the topic, "Why do we care so much?" is something that really struck me this time. Why? Because I realize being in a course which requires lots of affirmation and instructions and rules, I tend to need that affirmation that the things I do is right or wrong. I tend to have insecurities and a worryful mind and that will I repeat, WILL creep into your daily living and eventually creep into your spiritual life. Oh yea, caring too much can also cause your outer ego to grow. You tend to be proud and be boastful. That is if you care about your image too much. Like how you successfully attained something you longed for, a gift? a word of affirmation from lecturers and friends? I don't know. The list goes on and on.

The other day, in CF (Christian Fellowship), the speaker talked of Unity in Diversity. Want to read more? Well, just *click* and read. And then he talked about how we can evangelise with people. Throughout the years I came back to Christ and joining EE, I always felt shy going up to people to share about the gospel. The reason being, I CARED TOO MUCH. Not of the people, but with my own image. Thoughts like "What if he shuns Christ?" "What if I say something wrong?" and the list goes on. Then the pastor cleared all that up that day. Just simple gestures like being there for a friend, just caring and loving people is a very useful evangelical tool. You don't have to share the gospel, your actions can become the representation of the gospel. Right? I don't have the verses with me now. Maybe when I get it from Benny or those who took notes.

Another thing we care too much about is, Our looks. Yes yes, I am guessing 80% of the world care about their looks more than anything else. I don't mean those hot and sexy men and women you see in magazines. But how they precieve themselves as being good looking. HAHA, sad to say, I am also in the 80%. Yes, if you haven't notice, I am not a hot hunk. I am "sligtly"(I think I am) overweight and have chubby cheeks and sort of a big belly. My preception of myself of course. But then, there are times, when people come up to you, especially relatives and just blast out :"Aaron ahhh... You gained weight again.." "You need to exercise more la. You are so fat already." My gosh... everytime I hear that, my heart starts to boil but I do nothing. It really gets to me. Even when a friend makes fun of your weight, you tend to overheat as well. The most comfusing part is that these words came right after complimenting how much weight you lost. This is the world we live in. Its no Joke. So the question is.... WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH? Bible says, God loves us for who we are and not how we look like. Right?? But the thing is, we are also the temple of Christ. I mean our bodies. So yea, we have to keep healthy and not hurt ourself with sickness. I am happy with my progress in losing weight. Because, I exercise "more" than I used to and even if its a little lost, I am happy. Well, Don't think too much on what people think of you. Most important thing is that you think about yourself. Don't let the world get to you. Be positive. If you feel you are not looking after yourself well, and is destroying the temple of Christ, then go exercise, eat healthy. No junk food. No Mcdonalds, KFC or any other fast food. Stop "suppering" (I did, unless I stayed up the whole night). Sleep early (oops, I can't but I try.) But most importantly, keep a positive and God loving mind.

To be continued~~~
This post is getting too long and I have many other points to write so please wait for part 2. Thanks for reading.

We can be cancerous too....

Sorry for the months of not writing in my thoughts. Well, I have been thinking long and hard on how I am going to write and share this with you. Then it struck me when I was driving down the highway, bringing my brother to his work place early this morning.

No, I didn't take this picture. Took it from google image. But yes, it was sort of jammed this morning.

Its funny sometimes, to see the world in a different perspective. Imagine the highways and road are your blood streams and that the red blood cells are us and the white blood cells are like the policemen, judges, firemen, Etc... Those who keep the order and protect the body or the world. We each have have our own tasks. Like how each blood cell works. Every minute of the day, you will have new blood cells produced and like the world, a baby is born. Interesting right? And every day, a new white blood cell is born like how a policeman graduates, a doctor graduates and etc. Its just that hard and not many people can do that certain job. Every red blood cell has its certain duties which is where to bring the oxygen to the different parts of the bodies and this resembles the everlasting jams on the roads and highways bring humans to their particular job.

Its just going to get to long where I am going so I hope you understand where I am heading here. We all have our own purpose in life. We have our own path. So what is with the title right? That we can be cancerous too? Cancer is feared by many. It sometimes can be cured but mostly deadly without immediate treatment or sometimes, the treatment can only subdue it. To read about what is cancer if you don't know, *click* and read. After reading what is cancer, you will understand that a cancerous cell starts when a cell sort of goes haywire. In our world, those who are corrupt, who do wrong, who does not do what is right and affect those around him/her are what I consider as cancerous people. Just look at a small country like Zimbabwe. Once, it was a thriving country filled with rich resources. And just because of one cancerous person, the President, the leader of the country, it became so corrupt and poor and while the leaders enjoy riches, the country is actually dying.

Reading the worlds history, you can see how a cancerous person can bring down a society, a company and even a country. Think about it. Cambodia, Thailand and even Malaysia. See how a corrupt leader and the people can create so much chaos. How a small person in life can create so much chaos.

Lets focus on a church now. A church is not created with bricks and cement but the people who worships and believe in the everlasting God. Who believes in the savior Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and free us from the pits of hell for those who believe. What will happen to a church with corrupted leaders, and disobedient people. We are called the body of Christ, with God as the head. A body is not a body when one part is not doing its part. A cancerous person in a church can create hate, distrust, selfishness and etc. These will just create a downfall for the church. It is not just the leaders but the people within it as well. When you talk in a service, when someone is preaching or sharing, you are just disturbing those around you. You distract others from hearing the message. You are the cancerous cell which kills others. Its scary to see how God use everyday things to create this analogy. So how do we cure this? Well, there is only one cure. You stand up and do the right thing for Christ. When someone is talking, whether it be your friend or someone you don't know, kindly tell them to respect the speaker and respect the house of God. Leaders, do not think you are so innocent. You might be one of those cancerous cells sitting in the front row, chatting away, playing with the guitar while the preacher is sharing.
Its sad to say but even the advisers and even I became the cancerous cell at times.

Its not about talking in the service that makes us a cancerous cell. Gossiping about others, putting people down, laughing at the appearance of people or where they are from, which just brings people down and away from Christ. Brothers and Sisters, You are the cancerous cell as well. I remember hearing this song by Casting Crowns called "If we are the body" and this is the lyrics to the song.

It's crowded in worship today

As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus is the way

So got what I said? Do you still want to be a cancerous cell in life? Something that kills and causes hurt? Think about it.. You can MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Our Conduct...

Merciful God,
We confess we have not loved you with our whole heart
We have failed to be an obedient church
We have not done your will
We have broken your law
We have rebelled against your love
And we have not heard the cry of the needy
Forgive us we pray
Amen.

This is the one prayer that I remember ever since I became a Christian. It always gets to me when I am saying this prayer during Holy Communion. Why do I keep saying this prayer when I don't even try to apply it into my life? Have I helped anyone who is hungry or thirsty lately? What have I done for the past 21 years of my life which is significant in helping those who needs my help? So as I ask myself this, I got an answer. I did. I went to Cambodia, sacrificing my time and energy in showing the Cambodians that there are people in the world who still cares for them. I went to the longhouse, Rumah Siba several times to help out and worship with them.

But I still didn't see much significance in the things I do. Till I read this post posted up by someone in the Wesley youth. *click* to see the blog which I am talking about. Look for the post "Are you doing this?". I can't link it because the admin didn't allow me to. Well, after reading this, I asked myself:"Is this the right thing to do? Are we teaching those youth about whats the meaning to go to church through writing in the blog?" I am not against people voicing out in the blog but when I asked the question:"Did you talk to the person to tell him bout how unacceptable his behavior was before you post this up?" The person took this offensively. I guess the answer was no then. I believe that to show love and teach the youth, you have to tell them face to face. What's the use of complaining on the blog when that person might not even be reading the blog? This is when I decided to draw the line and decided that the Youth Worship is the thing which makes me feel that I haven't done anything significant in my 21 years. What's the use of showing love to others in the world when I haven't shown love to those from my own fellowship?

My resolution for my birthday which is today is to teach and help those who are from the youth worship, My brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you think I did not notice these actions when I was back in Sibu? I even got heated up and went to the person who was talking while the speaker was giving a talk to lower his voice. But I guess I did not do it out of love but anger. So the next time I am back, I will calm down and talk to the person after the service. Just to tell him that his actions are unacceptable. I remember this story written in the bible about how Jesus got angry at those who were treating the Temple of God like a market place. This is the same situation which is happening in the youth worship. It's useless if only the pastor or the advisors take action. It is time for the youths to stand up for God and tell their friends:"Your actions are not acceptable." Instead of just looking at the person.

No matter how much we learn in church, it is useless if we do not apply it our life. This is my vow. I will not receive Holy Communion till I take courage and show love to the youths by doing the right actions. I will not just write about it but I will take action. So for those in the youth worship who reads this, Don't just talk the talk. But walk it. Show love by teaching, not complaining. Love others in knowing that if they are not respecting the spearker, they are actually disrespecting God too. Because, our advisors, our pastors are all sent by God to share with us. So next time you see someone playing PSP in the services or even talking to their friends. Just politely tell them that their actions are unacceptable in church.

Story to share:
During the time of Alexander the Great, there was a soldier in Alexander's army whom shared the same name as the mighty conqurer. One day in battle, the soldier fled from the battlefield out of fear. Alexander called for the soldier and when the soldier came before the Great king, Alexander just said: "Soldier, either you change your name or you change your conduct!"

Its the same for all Christians out there. You call yourselves a "Christian" but what have you done lately to show that you are one? Have you fed the needy? Have you helped those who needs your help(not in sinning of course)? HAVE YOU?

"CHRISTIANS! Either you change your name or change your conduct."

A short intro to what will be written here

Besides my personal thoughts and also my personal memory keeper blog, I have thoughts on life and this has to do a lot with being a Christian. Yes, I have been a Christian all my life but only personally started to know God and receive Christ at the age of 17 when I was in Form 4. I am a choleric and melancholy person so this is why I have so much thoughts in my head. I am not a perfect person and yes, I do go through happy times but I also go through times when I get angry or upset. Life is not a bunch of roses. I've been reading "The Upside of Adversity" by OS HILLMAN and this got me started to write down my thoughts once again. This is a short warning though.

"My thoughts are not exactly friendly as some will know from my previous friendster blog. It might be offensive so stop me f I go overboard. I do not write down my thoughts to be rude or to hurt anyone. I just write to share what I think of certain things. I am not a perfect person, I am still a sinner. I am praying for wisdom for the things I write. So please pray for me on that. Please leave comments if you agree or disagree, I will happily accept. Please do not take the things I write in here personally. I repeat:"Do not take it personally."

"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. WHen you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble." Proverbs 4:11-12

Yes, I will pray for wisdom before I write down my thought and please do pray for me also.
Thank you for reading

Aaron C.W.L.